“If you turn the tablet away from me one more time, Susan, I’m going to throw this margarita in your face!"
Here’s what would be perfect: If you would take just two bites of that expensive dessert I upsold you on, one quick sip from the cappucino I talked you into, then pay the check and get the hell out of the restaurant. Because there’s people waiting and I need to flip this table so I can make more money.
I learned a few things as a waiter in the ’80s and ’90s. One was that spiked hair and a fanny pack was not a good look. The other was that a server’s job isn’t just to take the orders and sling the chow—our job was to sell. Bigger checks meant bigger tips, and the manager was constantly coaching us on which high-margin specials to push, which desserts we needed to move, what the exciting new beer we had on tap was.
Well, now the Chili’s Grill & Bar chain has found that, surprise surprise, tablets are better than humans at selling. “When your server is a screen, you spend more money," as The Atlantic puts it. Since installing over 55,000 tablets at tables, the restaurant has found that diners order more appetizers and desserts and even leave bigger tips by going along with the default tip setting, which is of course jacked up. They also tie the kids up with unlimited on-screen games that run $0.99.
The tablets are manufactured by a company called Ziosk, the self-styled “industry leader for tabletop menu, ordering, entertainment and payment" for restaurants. (But they are not without competition, see below.) Ziosk reckons the tablets, which flash attractive-looking food photos to entice diners to click, boost appetizer sales by 20% and desserts by 30%. They also shave about 5 minutes off of each meal, presumably because one never needs to flag a waiter down. Add it all up and these babies essentially pay for themselves, as the company claims: “The Ziosk platform is a revenue center, not a cost center for the restaurant and our offering is ‘less than free.’"
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